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My goal is to eventually say things things that are so sassy and wise that there is no possible response other than “Mmm” or “Mmhhmm”…and this is a place where we like to share our dreams, I like to think that it is… I hope, someday, to earn a “Testify!
Marshall from How I Met Your Mother (Season 8, Episode 5)
  • men:

    I can’t stand girls with low self-esteem, it’s such a turn off

  • men:

    Ew a fat girl ew stretch marks I want to be able to pick a girl up and kiss her and hold her in the air wow she has a flat chest mosquito-bite boobs oh gosh I don’t like boobs that big they get in the way I want a flat tummy on my girl oh she has to have a great body no love handles yuck beef curtains are gross I like big nipples I like small nipples yuck thunder thighs no that’s too thin you look anorexic I love curves no not plus-size just skinny girls with small waists and big hips wow caked on make-up is such a turn-off yet I worship this celebrity that has never been seen without make-up and I watch porn so my idea of a real woman is thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and I have unreasonable standards that real women will never be able to attain

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